I’ve given many presentations on Point Of View to beginning writers. I’d like to address Writing Deep Point Of View. Writing Deep allows you to not only get into your character’s head, but to become part of his actions, thoughts and sensibilities. When you write deep, you no longer distance the reader from the scene. Writing deep eliminates Telling instead of Showing.
Look over your manuscript and circle the distance words like: thought, wondered, felt, watched, noticed, heard, decided, knew, etc. When you’re in the character’s head, you have no reason to use those words. Put you character in the center of the action. Don’t make him watch. Instead, allow your reader to see what he sees.
I always use the “camera on the POV character’s head” trick. You can only write what your POV character see, hears, touches, tastes or feels. Whatever you do, don’t head hop.
Keep writing. Joyce